Creative Autobiography, Part II

As a child, my first successful creative act was writing and directing plays put on by myself, my sister, and my cousins for the amusement of our adult relatives (who made a very captive audience!)  My second successful creative act took place when I discovered that my teacher had hung up one of my poems for all to read.  It was very validating, but, at a tender age, it also made me feel vulnerable.  Moving through and beyond a mix of intimacy and exposure made it possible for me to compete in and win poetry slams as an adult.

My attitudes toward the listed concepts are as follows:

1.  Money: an unfortunate, but necessary means of negotiating one's way through today's current society/economy
2. Power: Not interested.  Empowerment: Interested.
3. Praise: Productive praise requires explication
4. Rivals: Exciting.  Inspiring.
5. Work: I do not define myself by my vocation.
6. Play: Creative projects (I am currently designing a chair to be sold at a fund-raising auction), Scrabble, pool, museums, art galleries, Pictionary, entertaining friends, Karaoke, photoshoots, charades, etc.

I love contemporary art and black and white photography.  I am a huge fan of the DeCordova Museum and am a regular visitor there.  My favorite artists are surrealist/dadaist Man Ray and photographer Sophie Calle.  Both have produced works that are experimental and innovative--characteristics that I admire and that excite me.  To me, a muse is someone or something that inspires me.  It's a bit of a cliche, but some of my early muses have been lovers--that, and fleshing out relationships such as the sociocultural and its relationship with nature.  When confronted with superior intelligence or talent, I am stimulated and celebrate what others have to offer.  When faced with stupidity, intransigence, indifference, etc., I may not agree, but respect others' place on their paths.  Where there is injustice or potential harm, I intervene.  For me, success can only be measured by the self.  It can be validating, but is fleeting.  When faced with failure, I work to redeem myself.  When I work, I enjoy the result, but relish the process.  My ideal creative activity right now is illustrating a children's story I wrote with photographs of clay characters.

I attend church every Sunday and it is here where I am fed, spiritually, but am, at the same time, humbled by what little I know of humans' understanding of God.  This is beyond my current "reach" and I would like to study religion, particularly Buddhism.  My greatest fear is of my own vulnerability--of my sensitivity in such an overly stimulating world.  Also, (and this is a little embarassing) I am both afraid of and fascinated by the paranormal.  Thankfully, I don't anticipate coming into contact with anything paranormal any time soon.  (I am not a big fan of heights, either.)  My idea of mastery is the fulfillment of a vision.  My greatest dream is to live as a writer in the country in a big, old rambling butter yellow farmhouse with dark green shutters and a wrap-around porch.  Oddly, the house would always smell of fresh-baked bread, even though I don't bake.  I would have lots of land with a river in the back where I would paddle my canoe.  My trusty cat, Scout, would have free reign of the property.  I would have a small kitchen garden and several, expansive flower gardens where woodland animals would nibble and frolic, undisturbed.  It sounds a bit Disneyesque, but hey, it's a dream, so I reserve the right to color it with as many chalks as I can...